...ergo sum

Friends and all who have followed us on our journey thus far, I would just like to say how happy we are that we found this supportive online community who has helped my husband and I feel not so alone as we made our process from becoming "closet non believers" to essentially coming out and/or being outed by our parents.

This blog was essential for us to organize some of our thoughts we were having while going through the dilemma of coming clean or not with the people who are supposed to be the most understanding and accepting of us. I feel however, that this chapter of our life, the chapter which this blog was supposed to help us through is now at an end.

Marcus and I created this blog as we dealt with our issues concerning the church we were both raised in. We used it to network with others who were in our situation and relied on it for support as we finally let the crap hit the fan when our parents found out. (As some of you may know, with my parents it was anticipated and with Marcus's it wasn't.)

Now that it's official we are no longer active Mormons with our immediate families, I feel like some of the debris is finally starting to settle, and although it is starting to settle, we can clearly see that some permanent damage has been done. And while we still struggle to repair some of this damage, we know that the scars of us leaving the church will forever have a mark upon our relationships with our mothers (both of our fathers have been more understanding at this point).

You may have noticed Marcus and I haven't posted as often as before. This is because we've both been trying to put the church behind us. And while it was cathartic to dump our frustrations with the church on to the internet when our parents were oblivious to our heresy, we now find the subject of "church" to be emotionally draining as we literally have to deal with the drama leaving it has caused with our family nearly every day.

Yes, our extended families still do not know (for the most part although I'm pretty sure my mother's side of the family who aren't TBM's know but don't care much that we left anyway). But we have grandparents who still don't, but for me, that's not as big a deal as our parents knowing. They know and that's all that matters for now.

The point I am trying to make is, we both feel like this blog is no longer serving its purpose anymore. The part of our lives we were trying to understand and deal with is now over. Now is a time for healing, and frankly, we don't want to essentially bitch about the church perpetually as it works against our goals of overcoming and moving past the church.

Because of this, I have created a new blog where I'm going to write about my beliefs as I move beyond Mormonism. Although I may write sometimes about the church and its teachings (how could I not?), the new blog's main purpose is for me jot down my thoughts and discoveries as I try to understand what I do believe. This is contrary to this blog, where I basically expressed what I don't believe. I feel it will be a much more constructive pursuit:

http://seekingdesideratum.blogspot.com/

Marcus has also expressed to me that when it comes to these things, he is no longer interested in blogging about it. (Which I understand, but I hope he changes his mind!)

I will continue to blog about my experiences with religion, the universe, and everything else in my aforementioned blog space, but I am going to stop posting here. I hope you can all update your address books, bookmarks, and blogs you're following so that if you're interested in seeing what discoveries (or lack thereof) I make in the realm of philosophy, skepticism, religion, pantheism, agnosticism, etc. that you may be able to do so. I will continue to be a part of the mormon blogosphere, and continue to read and comment on mormon themed blogs. However, I'm just going to broaden my horizons a little bit as I continue on my journey.